Drunk Kermit the Frog Slams Muppet Movie Anti-Oil Bias: “Muppets Are MADE of Petroleum!” (video)
Disney lawyers pulled this video within an hour of Kermit posting it, but TMZ obtained a copy. An obviously distraught (and intoxicated) Kermit the Frog slams the anti-oil bias in his latest film.
Transcript below the video.
Kermit the frog here. I’m sorry if I sound a little tired…been up for 30 hours doing interviews. I’m pretty wasted, pretty drunk. I mean, for two weeks I’m on the press junket promoting the new film, and now I have to do all these news shows to defend the film against claims it’s politically left-wing. I’m just really, really out of it right now. I took a couple of Ambien, a Vicodin, which I probably should not be mixing with alcohol, but, you know, f—k it.
So, I do Fox News, I’m on that show “The Five,” with that grumpy fat guy and the other guy who’s way shorter than me…what’s his name…Gutman. Or something. I think it’s Gutman.
And then I have to do MSNBC…Lawrence O’Donnell, what a pompous douchebag. What does he care if I served in Vietnam? He didn’t f—–n’ serve.
Look, the studio wants us to stick to the talking points they gave us. I gotta do what they say, you know? I want the film to do well. I have profit sharing…
I am NOT a Communist. Not at all. It’s just not true. I hate Communism. I’m not saying I don’t have strong political beliefs of my own, which I can’t really talk about right now…
But listen, there is one thing I have to get off my chest. Disney’s gonna get really pissed at me, but, you know what, I don’t care. It has to be said. The bad guy in our film is an oil man. Big oil is the villain. I’M MADE OF FLEECE! Fleece is a petroleum product. How can I be in an anti-oil film? I’M MADE OF THE F——-G STUFF. Every Muppet is. A Muppet doing an anti-oil film is like a human doing a film against nucleic acid.
So, thank you Jason Segel, for turning the Muppets into hypocrites, you talentless jerk.
And you know what, the oil industry employs millions of Americans. It would be kind of nice for their kids to see a film where their parents are not the bad guys.
Like in The Great Muppet Caper, the villains were beautiful fashion models. Now that’s something everyone can enjoy. Especially me. Man, that scene where Piggy beats up the models…god that’s erotic. Oh man, I could see that scene over and over again.