The Most Unintentionally Funny Congressional Holiday Video of 2011
Most of us have seen the “Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah” video released by Congressman Scott Rigell that went viral over the past few weeks. Well, late one night, during a break between Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years festivities, I decided to check out the holiday videos of other members of Congress, just out of curiosity.
It proved to be quite a sleep-inducing task. Most of the videos were as dull as…well…as dull as watching most members of Congress speak about anything. But the official holiday video released by super-far-left Democrat Emanuel Cleaver (chair of the Congressional Black Caucus) really threw me, to the extent that I had to watch it a few times in a row to see if I was missing something.
After three viewings, I came to the conclusion that, not only is it the most unintentionally funny Congressional holiday video of the year, it’s also the most perfectly leftist Congressional holiday video ever.
I’ll encapsulate it below, and, at the end of the article, I’ll embed the actual video.
Cleaver explains that when he first moved to Kansas City, he decided that God wanted him to have a super-fast car. Indeed, Cleaver felt he deserved to own such a vehicle. So he bought the fastest, most souped-up car he could afford: a Pontiac GTO. But the damned thing was, he couldn’t stop speeding. Again and again, he’d break the law, he’d get speeding tickets, and, as a result, his insurance company dared to tell him it might raise his rates. But still, he just couldn’t make himself obey the speed limit (according to him, it was the car that refused to obey). And finally, early one Thanksgiving morning, he got his biggest speeding ticket yet.
Well, now he was really ticked off. There goes his insurance, and there goes the money he had saved for Christmas presents. He might even be forced to trade-in his beloved GTO for some “slow, snail-speed car.”
But when he showed up at municipal court a few days before Christmas, the judge announced that, in the spirit of the holiday, he was dismissing all charges against everyone in the courtroom.
Now, at this point, I’m waiting for the moral. After all, Cleaver is an ordained minister. Ministers always have a moral to their stories, right? I was waiting for something like, “and the judge’s kindness made me realize how careless I had been by breaking the law and risking other people’s lives,” or “from that day forward, I always obeyed the laws that we are all expected to follow,” or “that Christmas I finally understood that I need to take responsibility for my actions,” or even “and that’s when I learned that kindness toward our fellow man is the true measure of our character, not the type of car we drive.”
But no…there was no moral. That was the end of the story. He repeatedly and knowingly broke the law, he hated the fact that he was going to face consequences for it, but then he was let off the hook by a blanket act of amnesty, and it was the best Christmas ever.
Now there’s a lesson to pass along to our children!
Cleaver concludes the video with some generic patter about how we should all do acts of kindness every day of the year, which, of course, is a fine message. But the speeding ticket anecdote never comes up again. There’s no moral beyond “I broke the law a lot of times, I didn’t have to pay for it, and I didn’t change my behavior.”
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Cleaver’s anecdote is the perfect Christmas (sorry, “holiday”) story for the left. Because it’s all about not accepting personal responsibility. He decides that he “deserves” a fast car. The car, not the driver, is to blame for going too fast. He refuses to change his behavior, even as he faces potentially dire consequences. The insurance company is wrong to hold him accountable, and, finally, the government tells him that he doesn’t have to be held accountable for his actions.
That’s a Christmas story leftists can tell and retell for generations!
For a congressman like Cleaver, a cradle-to-grave welfare-stater who never met an entitlement program he didn’t like, it really does make sense.
Look, I’m not trying to be overly serious about this. Cleaver probably didn’t put any deep thought into this five-minute one-off. But I can’t help but find the end result funny, even if unintentionally so.