Chemtrailers Salute Ron Paul

Nashua, New Hampshire (AP) – As weary politicos awoke to a crisp New Hampshire morning, their eyes red from either a full night of partying or weeping, depending on the previous night’s outcome for their candidate, anyone who looked skyward would have seen an unexpected sight: a congratulatory message to Ron Paul for his second-place showing in last night’s primary, from a very unlikely group – chemtrail pilots.

The OCP, the Organization of Chemtrail Pilots, a membership-based association representing pilots who spray toxic chemicals in the air for some odd reason in the service of some vague unnamed group but probably the Jews, released a statement to the AP this morning taking credit for the chemtrail message. “People assume we don’t like Ron Paul,” said Enzo Gallagher, the OCP’s chairman and press officer, “but that just isn’t true. Dr. Paul is the only Republican candidate who recognizes our hard work, and who lets people know we’re up there, day and night, spraying germ warfare or barium or pollution dust or some other kind of deadly substance under the command of some random type of evil international power that’s probably the Jews.

“It’s just nice to know that one of the candidates is willing to acknowledge us,” continued Gallagher. “Dennis Kucinich does, too, and we backed him in ’08. But we made the mistake of not wholeheartedly throwing the weight of our poisonous sunblocking carcinogenic deadly something-or-another particles behind him. We’re not going to make that mistake again this year. That’s why we wanted to give Dr. Paul a very public ‘thank you.’”

But it’s not only a sense of gratitude that prompted the OCP to congratulate Paul. “The only nation in the world that we’re not able to chemtrail is Israel, because the Jews that I’m assuming are somehow behind all this don’t want us to. But if Israel is obliterated by Iran and taken over by Muslims, we’ll finally be able to achieve world chemtrail grid supremacy, which, after all, is the goal of any good chemtrailer.”  

The OCP isn’t the only unlikely Paul ally. This morning, Paul received the official endorsement of the AEEFTA, the Association of Evil Engineers who Fake Terrorist Attacks. In a prepared statement read to reporters outside AEEFTA’s headquarters in Langley, Virginia, AEEFTA President Nefaryous Malvo praised Paul for his ongoing recognition of the group’s work.

“When you work the tireless hours that we do at AEEFTA, sneaking into two of the tallest buildings in the world in broad daylight, planting dozens of demolition charges without a single person seeing us or without being recorded on security cameras, kidnapping innocent Muslims and stealing their identities, faking hijackings by hiring actors to pretend to be panicked passengers calling home, hiring even more actors to pretend to be those passengers’ loved ones, ditching the real planes and flying remote-controlled detonator planes into the buildings, and using a false-flag airplane hologram to cover-up the bomb we managed to sneak into the Pentagon (the most secure facility in the U.S.) all in the name of serving some or another type of neocon or Illuminati or Bilderberger group that’s probably some kind of a front for the Jews, it’s nice to have one presidential candidate who has the guts to say, ‘I acknowledge your work.’ That really means a lot.”

Like the OCP, the AEEFTA had also endorsed Kucinich in ’08, which suggests that perhaps Paul’s most impressive post-New Hampshire endorsement is from an organization that has never before taken a public stand in favor of any presidential candidate. Late Wednesday morning, in a press release sent out via Orgone mind-control manipulation, Paul was endorsed by the OVDIBPVSORPSAJ (the Organization of Villainous Doctors who Inject Babies with Poisonous Vaccines for Some Odd Reason that Probably has Something or Another to do with the Jews). OVDIBPVSORPSAJ Lord Overseer Ascott the All-Powerful told the AP, “Only Dr. Paul is willing to call attention to the work our members do, all over the country, poisoning American infants with either cancer or Swine Flu or asthma or microchips or the 666 bar code or some other similar thing as we work tirelessly in the employ of some vague unnamed master-controllers who I’m assuming are probably the Jews.

“If presidential candidates can acknowledge the work of farmers, police officers, and firefighters, why can’t they also acknowledge the work of an apocryphal phantasm that’s the result of a pathetic gaggle of anti-Semitic paranoid schizophrenics’ lunatic fantasies? Ron Paul has guts to admit we exist. And only a president with guts will be able to defend this country against the grey lizard aliens from Planet X who will be arriving in December 2012 to enslave the world for some odd reason…probably having to do with the Jews.”

When reached for comment about these new endorsements, Paul campaign advisor Emerson Jacot told the AP, “I’m as amazed as you are that we’re still in the game. I mean, what the hell? Oh crap, I probably shouldn’t have said that.”

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