Funny and Frightening Pics on the Obama 2012 Campaign Site

Remember the summer of 2008? I’m sure Team Obama does. The exuberance, the joy, the sense of limitless possibilities. With the election of Hopey McChangington, the country, no – the world – was going to become a dreamy utopia. We’d spend our way out of recession, gas prices would plummet (as green energy replaced nasty old fossil fuels), everyone’s bills would magically be paid, Muslims would stop hating us, medical treatment would be free for all, and the smartest president ever elected would usher in a new era of prosperity.

In print ads, TV commercials, and Internet spots, cause-and-effect-challenged dimwits beamed and glowed and waxed orgasmic about the paradise that would surely result from the election of Mr. Chicago Hope.

Yep, it was April 23rd 1985 (the day that “New Coke” was officially announced) all over again. And just like New Coke, it didn’t take the public long to realize that the much-vaunted “change” tasted like crap.

And here we are, four years later. How can the Obama reelection team recapture the magic of 2008? I’ll tell you how…by posting photos of its statewide volunteers and supporters explaining why they think we should reelect New Coke, I mean, Obama. It’s called the “I’m In Because” campaign, in which Obama supporters display dry erase boards or printed sheets of paper to explain why they are “in” for Obama in ’12.

Every single one of the following photos is taken directly from the official, authorized Obama for America reelection campaign website and Facebook pages. These are the pictures that team Obama hand-picked. That’s the key point here. Yes, we’ve all seen random photos of dumb, awkward, or misspelled signs and placards at Occupy rallies, anti-war rallies, and Tea Party events. But these pictures have been specifically chosen by the Obama 2012 campaign to represent its best and brightest.

These are the faces of Obama for America 2012. This is the very best they can do. Is the bloom off the rose? Or is the stink stronger on the beetle? You decide.

Again, I stress, these are not random pictures. These are the pictures that the Obama campaign purposely uploaded to its website and Facebook pages.

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In 2008, there was no shortage of happy children being whored out by beaming parents in the cause of electing Obama. Four years later, the parents are still just as doltish, but the kids seem to have wised up.

Dad: “C’mon, Joey, smile like your old man! C’mon, boy, cheer up! Let’s see some enthusiasm! C’mon, kid, big smile for our president! Big wide smile! Come on you little bastard, smile or I’ll kill your f***ing dog!”

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“Mother…please put me down!”

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“Mom, I can barely contain my contempt for you right now, you smiling jackass.”

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“Dad, please don’t flash the number four like some “cool” gang sign. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.”

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Suddenly, the dad from the last one doesn’t seem so dorky.

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Way to go, little conscientious objector! While gammy and gampa pimp you out to the Obama reelection team, you show your disapproval by making a sour face and holding the sign upside-down! It almost reminds me of how Daniel Pearl secretly flashed his middle finger in an act of defiance when he was forced to pose for his terrorist captors! Of course, Obama for America would never allow that sort of imagery in its official gallery…

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I stand corrected.

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To be fair, not all of the chilbren are unhappy to be posing for Obama. Here’s an example of happy chilbren.

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Is it me, or does this gentleman look like he’s being forced against his will to hold that sign by an off-camera gunman? Seriously, I’ve seen more enthusiastic-looking black people at Wallace ’68 campaign stops.

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Um, is that a dead body in a sack draped across the chair behind her? “Serial killers for Obama?” Hell, at this point, he’d probably take the endorsement.

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If this poor dog could shoot lasers out of its eyes, this woman would be a briquette.

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This dog’s expression when forced to pose for Obama represents the feelings of millions of Americans.

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Because WHO looks after businesses owned by minors? Obama, that’s who.

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I’m sure this Mr. Chang, whoever he is, is a hell of a fella. But stay on topic, folks – we’re supposed to be talking about Obama here.

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Yes, indeed. His the best.

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I hate “ideaology,” too.

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I’m not even going to touch this one…

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Stupid conservatives…claiming that Obama is pandering to gay voters with his “evolution” on same-sex marriage. Gay voters are way too savvy to fall for that cynical election year ploy.

On the other hand…

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“Obama 2012: A pink flamingo in every pot.”

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Remind me not to visit the Castro Street Foot Locker.

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No offense, but I’d say these guys are “out.”

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Say what you will about Obama, but he has the Hawaiian Prince Valiant vote locked down.

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When you’re gay and lesbian and bisexual and transgendered, apparently all at the same time, it’s so hard finding a candidate who can address your concerns and reflect your values.

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Is Obama cool? Is Obama cool? Oh man, is he ever. In fact, according to these acolytes, that’s the number-one reason to reelect him. Because when your guy has no real accomplishments, go straight for the Fonzie factor.

In my day, young people fought against “the man.” Kids today…what losers.

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Well, I’ve learned something. The only thing more irritating than dumbass kids using trendy catch-phrases is dumbass kids using long-outdated MC Hammer catch-phrases.

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Wait…are we talking about a president, or God? Because when your guy has no real accomplishments, just ask people to take his greatness on faith.

Obama saves! Jesus? Meh.

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“He is the way and the truth and the life.”

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“I once was lost, but now am found…”

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I’m not sure what disturbs me more about this shot…the fact that the letters are cut ransom note style from a magazine, or the sad-faced Obama moon decal.

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Of course, she’s pointing in the exact opposite direction of her “forward” arrow.

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So, the first time didn’t really work out too well, huh?

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Hey, lady on the left: It’s really not that funny a pun.

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Is he trying to convince us, or himself?

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At least he’s honest. Yes, reelecting Obama will indeed be quite a challenge.

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And…that’s your only standard for electing the leader of the free world?

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Dude, if you ever have a son, may he grow to be wise enough to be mortified at your criteria for voting for a president.

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There’s an old showbiz adage about exiting on a laugh, but I think I’ll do the opposite, and exit on something that’s not even remotely funny. Obama for America chose to feature this picture on its official Ohio Facebook page, championing a symbol of the oppression of women throughout the Muslim world. Oh, but explain to me again how it’s the Republicans who are waging a “war against women.”

 

Comments
7 Responses to “Funny and Frightening Pics on the Obama 2012 Campaign Site”
  1. BWAHAHAH!!! HILARIOUS! Great Job captioning!

  2. Truman North says:

    Oh… I wish my candidate was running against Obama. On the bright side, he is running against Joe Kennedy III. Which is kind of the same thing.

  3. Linda says:

    HaHa…”I believe he desent another 4 year. His the best” I also believe he desent (doesn’t) deserve another 4 years!

  4. jim shivers says:

    Just a small sampling of the idiots that are Obama Bound!!! Sad,,,very, very sad.

  5. MM says:

    Dude, that is some funny stuff-I dare say it won’t be topped this week.

    Right off the bat with Hopey McChangington was priceless.

  6. Haiku Guy says:

    Lady with the pug:
    Of course the sign says WE’RE in,
    Because the dog votes!

  7. Desert Rat says:

    Is it just me, or does it look like they recycled the “…I Believe” sign in several of those pictures? Do you suppose they were standing by the door and making people hold the sign and get their picture taken, before their victims could leave?

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