EXCLUSIVE! The Dept. of Defense to Women: Use “Humor” and “Dialogue” to Stop a Rape

Olympic “Legend” Campaigns for Teachers Union-Backed Racist Candidate

As my regular readers (both of ’em) know, I’ve been following this story since breaking it on February 4th. The United Teachers L.A. (UTLA), an NEA/AFT-affiliated union covering the nation’s second-largest school district, has officially endorsed a candidate for L.A. City Council, Ron Gochez, who is an activist and spokesman for an unashamedly racist organization […]

Masturbating Conservatives

Well, it’s Friday, and ol’ Dave is working blue. I remember reading an article in some highfalutin’ behavioral science journal many years ago about how chronic masturbators make lousy lovers. Something to do with how chronic tallywacking leads to a single-minded focus on self-pleasure, making any attempt at a union with a partner less than […]

Teachers Union Endorses L.A. Candidate Affiliated with Racist, Extremist Group

Dept. of Interior Loon: “Policy Intervention” Needed to Save Mice from Cats (this is NOT satire)

Yesterday, I wrote a satirical post about “Anthropogenicists,” the pseudo-scientists who believe that humans are the cause of all earthly problems, from weather and climate anomalies to earthquakes, floods, volcanoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and species extinction. To an Anthropogenicist, humans are the sole root of all evil. Because nothing bad – no earthquakes, no floods, no […]

“Obama Purging Military Leaders Who Won’t Fire on U.S. Citizens?” Conservative Rumor Control

“I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.” David St. Hubbins, and a frighteningly increasing number of conservatives * Hidely-ho, conservarinos! It’s your long-suffering pal, Conservative Rumor Control (CRC), fighting a losing battle against false memes and idiotic […]

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Trader Joe’s Price Increases Due to California Taxes and Fees

* Hey California hippie liberals – if any of you dare to complain about the fact that Trader Joe’s iconic $1.99 “Two Buck Chuck” wines are no longer available in California at that price, you deserve to choke on your own sour grapes. Because it was you morons who gave the Dems in this state […]

MUST WATCH: NY Dem Votes for Gun Ban While Admitting Conservatives Are Right

* Well, this is odd. New York State Senator Ruben Diaz, Sr., while announcing that he had every intention of voting for S.2230, the draconian anti-gun “Democratic bill,” chided his fellow Democrats with a simple admonition: “It will not make a difference in the committing of crimes.” “I assure you, nothing’s gonna change. We have […]

When Lack of Bullets Might Have Prolonged a Massacre

Obama and the Democrats believe they can dictate to Americans just how many bullets are “enough” (just like they tell us how much soda is enough, how much candy is enough, how much salt is enough, etc., etc., etc.). Central to the Obama/Dem argument is that nobody “needs” high-capacity magazines for self defense. In response, […]

Top Ten Reasons to Stop Using the Holocaust in Anti Gun Control Memes

* The Top Ten Reasons to Stop Using the Holocaust in Anti Gun Control Memes: 1)  It’s not relevant. The Jews of Germany represented less than 1% of the pre-war German population (less than 500,000 people in a nation of 67 million). Even if every single Jew had a rifle, the Nazis had A F*CKING […]

How We’re Going to F**k Up the Gun Control Debate

* Last week, as I was reading my friend Kurt Schlichter’s piece on Townhall.com, I realized that there are two emerging views among conservatives regarding what 2013 will bring in terms of new gun legislation. On one side, there are the doomsayers who are predicting “Disarmageddon,” and on the other, there are those who say […]

What to Do in the Wake of Sandy Hook? Nothing.

* Tragedy. We look for meaning, we search for answers. We try to make sense of grief. When Sandy Hook’s tragic events unfolded we were shocked. The normal was so shattered that no amount of reflection could answer the overwhelming questions created by our dull grief and hollow sorrow. We felt ineffable things that thwarted […]

Four Types of Fraudulent Gun Rights Memes, and How to Prevent Them

* Type #1: The horribly misused Holocaust or WWII photo. * * How to know it’s phony: GET OFF FACEBOOK AND READ A FUCKING BOOK. And if books aren’t your thing, go to YadVashem.org or USHMM.org. * Type #2: The phony celebrity quote. * * How to know it’s phony? By virtue of their egos, […]

Beyoncé Gun Control PSA: Remember “Thug Love?”

* In a new star-studded anti-gun PSA, singer Beyoncé Knowles demands a “plan” to deal with youth gun violence. Okay, Beyoncé, here’s a plan – don’t be a beautiful and popular singer who tells her young fans that they have to be “thugs” in order to earn her affection. Boom!  Now THAT’S a plan! Oops…too […]

Months Before Shooting, “Civil Liberties” Groups Defeated Conn. Law Aimed at the Violent Mentally Ill

First of all, I want to say that neither you nor I know all the facts about yesterday’s unthinkably horrific events in Newtown, CT. Intelligent people understand that no news reports can be considered reliable in the first 24 hours following a cataclysmic tragedy. Indeed, it will be weeks, perhaps months, before the facts of […]

Where is Pelosi on Muslim Aide’s False Hate-Crime Claim?

END-OF-YEAR HOUSECLEANING PART 4: Bad History

END-OF-YEAR HOUSECLEANING PART 3: Dave vs. NBC – 1 Win, 1 Loss

END-OF-YEAR HOUSECLEANING PART 2: The Islamic Apologist from “Cracked”

Israeli Envoy Summoned to Paris for Meeting with Insane Imbecile

Paris (AP) – The Israeli envoy in Paris, Daniel Korentz, was summoned to the French Foreign Ministry on Monday by government officials concerned about Israel’s plan to build more settlements in the “occupied” West Bank and East Jerusalem. The French government has been an outspoken supporter of recent Palestinian attempts to gain U.N. recognition, and […]