A Hooker, a President, and a Holocaust Revisionist Walk Into a Bar…
2015 got off to a rollicking start with a wild week that involved ol’ Dave being thrust back into the national spotlight in a story involving the Holocaust, Bill Clinton, and a high-priced hooker…a story that is as odd as it is convoluted.
To begin with, I proudly spat forth my inaugural piece for Taki’s Magazine, home to such un-PC iconoclasts as “Red Eye’s” Gavin McInnes, John Derbyshire, Jim Goad (a very old friend), Pat Buchanan, and Kathy Shaidle. The piece did extremely well, so expect more.
But back to me, Clinton, and the hooker.
I’ll lay out the short version. Everyone who’s familiar with my work knows of the foul redhead known as Rosie Tisch, the young lady who outed me in 2013. About five or six years ago, her voluptuous sister, a country-rock artist named Julia Garlington who had been an opening act for Blake Shelton, became a high-priced call-girl in Nashville (although her clients were mainly in Atlanta). That’s her, pictured below (and no, that’s not one of her call-girl pics. It’s one of her band promotion shots).
Her family wanted her to find regular work again, but her “business” resume contained a long gap filled with years of moderately successful music and very successful hooking. Rosie and her folks asked me to help, due to, as Rosie put it, my “clever gift of the word and enjoyment of farce.” Julia and I fudged up a phony position for her with my borderline-bullshit movie production company (the films I produced were real, there just wasn’t any “company”).
We made it appear as though she was my whiz of a PR expert, helping to elevate my company to new heights. She even used her cuckolded husband Dan’s last name of Herzberg (his “Jew name,” as she put it).
It worked. She got a job in the corporate world (for a while it even looked like she’d be hired by the Tennessee Holocaust Commission!), and I took all the phony stuff down. It was, as they say, a “short con” – a one-time-only play for a limited duration, and for a specific purpose. And it was to help someone I genuinely cared about.
The main difference between Julia and her sister is that Julia will actually touch a dwarf.
And that was it. I never expected to hear about that brief episode again.
Cut to last October. Due to the publicity from my book, and the fact that it contained a (genuine) letter of praise from Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur, my name caused a stir during Rep. Kaptur’s reelection bid, as the media clamored over the fact that she had once praised my work. The Washington Times did an excellent and sober piece on this (a piece that started out with their reporter verifying the authenticity of the letter…see, he verified it before he wrote about it). In contrast, the Daily Caller’s ethically challenged reporter Patrick Howley did a sloppy and badly-written piece in which he truncated and misattributed a quote from the Phil Donahue Show episode I appeared on in ‘94.
Having been shown up by the superior Times piece, anencephalic manchild Howley decided to dig deeper…to find MORE Cole “letters of praise” (he could have just asked me, as the Times reporter did).
Floating out there in the Internet ether, on a site called ZoomInfo (an “aggregation site” that vacuums up random bits of info and stores it in an unedited and uncurated manner), there was one tiny mention of the BS that Julia and I had cooked up and abandoned years earlier. Howley stumbled upon that, and, lo and behold, it appeared as though at one time Bill Clinton had praised one of my films in a “letter of commendation!”
Howley had his scoop. He emailed me. I decided to put him to the test. I told him about his misattributed quote from the Kaptur piece, knowing that any decent journalist would fix a false quote on principle. He refused, and my pathological hatred of hacks who invent or misattribute quotes kicked in. It was time to fuck with Patrick Howley. I told him just enough to make any legitimate reporter abandon the story (I straight-out wrote that I was “afraid” the Clinton quote “might prove false”), and I expected him to then ask to see a copy of the “letter” itself for verification. He never asked. And just like that, the story, based on nothing, appeared on the Daily Caller.
Even with my warnings, and without having asked to see the “letter,” he still went with the story. Of course, I happily let him dig that grave, but I thought surely his editors would be more demanding.
Not at all. Daily Caller Executive Editor Vince Coglianese would later tell me it mattered not to him that Howley never asked to see the letter; his only concern was that Howley had properly cut-and-pasted the ZoomInfo blurb.
Time to mete out some justice, Cole-style (as in, drunkenly).
I told the Howley tale to AlterNet, one of the most influential lefty sites, used as a source by thousands of other lefty sites. The story ran. Within 24 hours, I was contacted by Media Matters. Ah, now we’re cooking! The Media Matters reporter, Joe Strupp, was properly deceitful in his faux-obsequiousness. His “off the record” sympathetic questions to me about Auschwitz and gas chambers were merely to put me at ease. But those tricks don’t work on me. I’ve been dealing with reporters since before Howley and Strupp had pubes (well, only Howley….Strupp is actually older than I am).
I didn’t mind Strupp’s deceit. We’re all whores here (including the literal one whose plight brought about the fictional Clinton quote). I’m just more honest about it. Strupp only had the story because I decided to punk Howley and take the piece to AlterNet. I’m not the victim here, I’m the perpetrator. Anyone who’s read my book knows I love this kind of thing. How did Rosie phrase it? My “clever gift of the word and enjoyment of farce.”
The Media Matters piece exploded, and dozens of sites jumped on the bandwagon, including MSNBC. I had done what I set out to do, but it wasn’t a perfect “aktion.” Talking Points Memo invented a claim that I had “decried the Holocaust as a hoax on talk shows in the early 1990s,” and Drudge reposted that exact defamatory sentence. Shit, a new fabricated allegation to follow me around until the day I die.
When The Guardian, an actual newspaper with actual journalists writing for it, ran the story of my “outing” in 2013, a conscious decision was made by the staff, after reviewing my work, that I should be referred to as a revisionist, not a “denier.” Shit-for-brains sites like the Daily Caller, Media Matters, MSNBC, and TPM will usually say denier. I don’t fuss about that; I rather expect it. It might be false, but it’s sensational, and those sites deal in sensationalism. But TPM’s claim that I “decried the Holocaust as a hoax” on TV shows is demonstrably false. It’s a specific, phony, and inflammatory allegation. So, TPM got an email.
But still, it was a good week. Huge success with the Taki’s Magazine piece, Patrick Howley got his comeuppance, Vince Coglianese got exactly the “lesson in journalism” he accused me of trying to give him when I questioned his decision to run the story, and the Talking Points Memo editors slinked out of their slime den yesterday to remove the defamatory sentence about me calling the Holocaust a “hoax” (it remains on Drudge and elsewhere thanks to them, though, so, TPM, this ain’t over).
Look, I never wanted to be outed, so I just have fun with it now. It’s always a gamble to try a maneuver like this. And since I’m always drinking, one could call it a “long neck gamble.” Wait, where have I heard that phrase before? Right! Take it away, Julia. Without you, last week’s adventure never would have happened. Play me off, babe.